Jokes
Doctor, Doctor, I've lost my memory!
When did this happen?
When did what happen?
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a rubber band.
Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!
Doctor, Doctor, everyone thinks I'm a liar
I can't believe that!
Doctor, Doctor, I'm so ugly what can I do about it?
Hire yourself out for Halloween parties!
Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing double.
Please sit on the couch.
Which one!
Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing an insect spinning around.
Don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around!
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a moth
Get out of the way, you're in my light!
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a dog!
Sit!
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a video.
Didn't I see you before?
Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a fruitcake.
What's got into you?
Flour, raisins and cherries.
Knock Knock Jokes
Knock Knock
Cash who?
No thanks, but I would like a peanut!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Doris
Doris who?
Doris locked, that's why I'm knocking!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Moo
Moo who?
Make up your mind, are you a cow or an owl?!
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Howl!
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door!
Who's there?
Moo
Moo who?
Make up your mind, are you a cow or an owl?!
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Howl!
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Britney Spears.
Britney Spears who?
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Oops I did it again.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Madam!
Madam who?
Madam foot is caught in the door!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Figs
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!
Animal Jokes
Why do dinosaurs have long nails on Friday?
Because their manicurist doesn't come until Saturday!
Because their manicurist doesn't come until Saturday!
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A headbanger!
What movie did the lizards make?
The Lizard of Oz!
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Why did King Kong climb up the side of the skyscraper?
The elevator was broken!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station!
What do you get when you cross a giant with a skunk?
A big stink!
What do cats put in their drinks?
Mice cubes!
Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
To a crow bar.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk!
Why can't elephants ride tricycles?
They don't have thumbs to ring the bell!
Food Jokes
Waiter, what is this fly doing in my soup?
Freestyle I believe!
What's brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Just Silly
How did the doofus fall on the floor?
He tripped over the cordless phone!
Why did the doofus get fired from the banana factory?
He threw away all the bent ones!
How can you tell when a doofus has been using the computer?
There's Tipp-Ex all over the screen!
Why was the fool's brain the size of a pea after exercising?
It swelled up!
How do you make a doofus laugh on a Sunday?
Tell him a joke on Saturday.
What did the foolish ghost do?
Climbed over walls.
The elevator was broken!
Why did the turtle cross the road?To get to the Shell station!
What do you get when you cross a giant with a skunk?
A big stink!
What do cats put in their drinks?
Mice cubes!
Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
To a crow bar.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk!
Why can't elephants ride tricycles?
They don't have thumbs to ring the bell!
Food Jokes
Waiter, what is this fly doing in my soup?
Freestyle I believe!
Hey! There's no chicken in my chicken pot pie.
Well do you expect to find dogs in dog food!
Well do you expect to find dogs in dog food!
How can you have Breakfast in Bed?
Sleep in the kitchen!
What's brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Just Silly
How did the doofus fall on the floor?
He tripped over the cordless phone!
Why did the doofus get fired from the banana factory?
He threw away all the bent ones!
How can you tell when a doofus has been using the computer?
There's Tipp-Ex all over the screen!
Why was the fool's brain the size of a pea after exercising?
It swelled up!
How do you make a doofus laugh on a Sunday?
Tell him a joke on Saturday.
What did the foolish ghost do?
Climbed over walls.
Joke of the Day
Comments
Post a Comment
Leave your lovely reply here